Sometimes, I have to admit, the promised peaceful life that is bestowed upon believers is not true of me -- especially with regards to the everyday, little inconveniences that should be brushed off.
This past Friday, someone bumped my car while it was parked in the lot. It actually was the best case situation: the offending individual left a note and phone number, and nobody was hurt. I called the police, filed a claim, my car is getting repaired, all is well. As far as car accidents go, it was about as smooth as they come. Except, not really.
Yes, I was patient and optimistic all through Friday. I made the phone calls I needed to make, I carried on, etc. etc. But things changed today when I went to go drop off my car for repair. The inconveniences piled up, and by noon I was raging about the fact that: 1) I had to wake up an hour earlier. 2) I had to spend my precious gas to drive across the river to one of the "approved" repair shops. 3) I was not first in line and thus had to wait, making me 10 minutes late for work. 4) I had to get a rental, which is a lesser quality, older car with fewer features than my precious, brand-spanking new 2016 Hyundai Elantra. 5) I had to purchase outside insurance for the rental car, which I wouldn't have needed had my own car been intact. 6) I actually didn't need to purchase the outside insurance, but the insurance companies didn't open until after I was at the dealer. 7) Now I have to go all the way back there, using more gas, to prove that I haven't damaged the rental car in the past 2 hours its been in my possession in order to waive the insurance policy.
Sigh.
Doesn't that just make me sound like a spoiled, rotten, brat? What's even worse is that it felt so darn good to pound out my frustrations in raging text evidence of how I have been wronged.
Yes, I'm the victim, right? Poor me - I have a beautiful car to drive; I live among honest community members who leave notes instead of anonymous dents and scratches; insurance policies are available that cover the costs associated with the damage to my car; I have a free rental car while my car is being fixed without cost to me; I don't actually have to pay to insure the rental car.
After nearly losing my cool on the phone when talking to the rental company (again), I heard a faint whisper about peace - that transcends all understanding and guards hearts and minds in Christ (Philippians 4:7). I responded, "Yeah, where's my peace?" The classic, indignant response of an ungrateful child who feels that the world owes her something. But slowly, the rest of that passage emerged from the deep place it was hidden away in my heart - the preceding verse: Philippians 4:6 - "Do not be anxious about anything, but in all things, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." The first step? It's on me - don't be anxious. Pray. Be thankful. Next? Philippians 4:8 - "Finally, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is lovely, what ever is good, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me practice these things and the God of peace will be with you."
Wow. That's rough truth, without the rainbows, butterflies, unicorns and candy that I wished were present. No - for patience and peace, I have responsibility. That responsibility, then, is to follow along the path that God has instructed me: to focus on what is good, righteous and true. Pray. Give thanks for my blessings, not my burdens. Then and ONLY THEN, do I receive that peaceful presence of God.
That, my friends, is conviction. I am guilty before God not because of my behavior, but because of the condition of my heart.
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