I've come to realize that one of the hardest sins to break free from in my first-world, on-the-go, social-media obsessed American life is idolatry. It slips in nonchalantly, paraded as the next big thing, dubbed "trendy," or fashionable, promises to give us identity, make us look good in the eyes of others, make us feel good about ourselves. A lot of these idols start out as good things but get stretched to a disproportionate degree until they sort of take over.
Healthy eating? It's a lifestyle. Edgy fashion? The cars we drive? We buy the tee shirt to go along with the next obsession, marking ourselves as followers. But what about Christ as a lifestyle? Jesus as the only path to eternity? What about Paul's convicting words, "For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain,"? (Philippians 1:21)
The problem with idols is that they don't deliver what they promise. Only one thing does that: Christ.
Our lives are plagued by false idols, and sometimes the most influential false gods in our lives are internal. To love God more, I need to love me less. In Christ we are called to die to ourselves.
This verse finishes up by saying, "You cannot serve both God and money," but really it can finish with anything.
No one can serve two masters. You will either love one and hate the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and ________________.
Fill in the blank: Money. Food. Fashion. A boyfriend or girlfriend. Family. School. Sports. Grades. Work. Finding a job. Popularity. Being funny. Doing "Christian" things. Anything can be an idol.
The worst part is that when an idol is identified in a person's life, it's not always easy to dethrone it.
One of my biggest struggles with idolatry began before I was a Christ follower. By the time I voluntarily stepped foot in a church, I was well-aware that the sweet nothings whispered to me by anorexia were fruitless. My eating disorder promised me that if I ate less and weighed less, my life would be fuller, I'd feel satisfied, look beautiful, and be able to fly - among other equally ridiculous notions.
No, I didn't choose anorexia. It's a disease that takes over without warning. But as it progressed, I became increasingly self-obsessed, which is evidence of the sinful idolatry I was engaged in with my own self. I didn't think about much else besides what I did or didn't eat, what the scale did or didn't say, and how much certain bones that shouldn't have been visible at all did or didn't stick out of my skin. I took a ridiculous number of pictures of myself to analyze how I might "look to other people," and in a strange way, felt superior to others because I could resist cake at parties (that is, if I went to the parties.) It ruined my health, my relationships, and my self-confidence, all the while promising the exact opposite.
I am not proud that I had an eating disorder. It's an ugly experience, and it's something that I still struggle with, telling me that if I become a vegan or a marathoner and consequently lose 10 pounds, my life will improve dramatically. By the grace of God, I have learned that this isn't true. It takes a tremendous amount of determination to keep it banished to the back of my brain, and in full disclosure, I don't always want to.
When I first started recovery, I remember thinking "I'll start eating normally after I lose X more pounds." Or, "I'll recover if I can also be a vegetarian." I want to have my (anorexia's) cake and eat it too, as strange as that sounds. But the ironic thing about these thoughts is that in recovery, I don't actually value those things anymore. Anorexia's advertised goods aren't as scintillating when I have my mind on God. In Christ, I care more about the fullness of my character than the fullness of my cheeks. Likewise, if I'm stuck in a rut of eating disorder thoughts and behaviors, I don't really care to indulge in the Bread of Life because I'm too busy avoiding #carbs.
Sometimes I'm embarrassed to admit that I struggle with these things, but I know I'm not the only one. Given that this is National Eating Disorders Awareness week, I decided to share this story because I think a lot of the "awareness campaigns" miss something fundamental about eating disorders. I know it's kind of scandalous to say this, but the worst part about anorexia and other eating disorders isn't that they are dangerous to a person's health, but rather that they are spiritually dangerous. As it is written, we can't serve both God and __________. Whether that's an eating disorder or some other life-draining idol, we all could use some prayer, some counsel, and a whole lot of grace to dethrone the false gods and return our hearts to the one, true king: Jesus Christ.
What do YOU live for?
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