Train Hard

Hey everyone! I apologize for the extended absence -- I've had a lot going on. I promise that I've been writing though, albeit for a somewhat different audience; I'm not sure how well a discussion surrounding the oleaginous zones of sorghum agglomerates that have undergone high-shear extrusion processes would fit with this demographic of readers. Selah. I'll save you the trauma of reading my senior design project report, but overall it went well, is finished, and is finally submitted! Praise be.

It's been a long haul, and I think I might treasure my 80+ page report more than my actual diploma. Eighty times as many pieces of paper means it's that much more valuable, right? Ha. It was definitely a lesson in endurance, though, and has helped me move away from my social-media-induced ADD. I kind of had to learn to focus for more than ten-minute increments to help write 17,000 words about cereal. But now I can safely say that I'm your girl if you have any food science questions related to granola. Here's a picture for your viewing pleasure:

Yummy granola cereal made from sorghum that can also be cooked into an all-natural, fruity porridge. Think cream of wheat, but way healthier and way, way more delicious!

My senior design project is one of those things that makes me feel very accomplished. Working on it for so long and having poured out so much of myself, it almost has become like a part of me. (I am now 99% human and 1% sorghum.) It's kind of like running a mini-marathon: in it for the long-haul, and finally crossing the finish line hurts so good; although I'm not sure whether running extremely long distances for no reason or committing four months of my life to the study of sorghum makes me question my sanity more. 

More valuable than the academic savvy I gained from this project, though, were the lessons in patience, perseverance, and critical thinking I learned. While my spiral-bound sorghum smarts will sit on a bookshelf for the rest of eternity, I'll be able to apply those other lessons to all areas of my life on a daily basis. (I'm not sure I can say the same about running half-marathons. That just made me tired.)

Character lessons are important not only for professional settings, but for spiritual settings as well. There are some sins in my life that I've been battling for a while, and when I'm worn and weary I tend to lose motivation. Maybe you can relate? But while there isn't anything spiritual about sorghum or sprinting, practices that require endurance can help equip us to persevere in our relationship with God. Paul wrote in 1 Timothy 4:8-10,

"8 For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.9 This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance. 10 That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe."

I'm reluctant to over-spiritualize secular matters -- though apparently #RepsForJesus is trending on Instagram. But, there is some value in being open to learning life lessons from everyday things. The food product my senior design team created was in tandem with USAID, targeted to feed hungry children. It's more than philanthropy, though. It can be philosophy as well, and it was. It taught me about individual strengths and weaknesses that create a need for unity in the body of Christ. It taught me about leaning into God's strength when I feel drained and weak. It taught me about breathing through the stress and remembering that the things I labor for are not of this world. 

Huh.

Turns out, there may have been more to my degree objective than I originally thought.

BIG SIN vs little sin

I kind of like cleaning. Washing dishes is my favorite, and there's a certain satisfaction in having a spotless stove. One thing that I find somewhat unpleasant, though, is wiping down the counters and tables. Often times, they already look perfectly clean, but the blackened Clorox wipe when I've finished suggests quite the opposite. It's always so strange to realize that something that looked pretty clean was actually really dirty.

This concept can be reflective of sin. It's easy to notice big sins in our lives (or, let's face it...other people's lives) but it's tempting to kind of sweep our "little" transgressions under the rug. In my own life, there are a lot of things that I kind of forget are actually sinful and just think of them as "things I probably shouldn't do." Cursing, gossiping, judgments, eating six sea salt caramels instead of a reasonable number (#gluttony) to name a few. When I look in the spiritual mirror, I think I look pretty good -- pretty clean. Compared to the "big" sins, I'm not doing that bad. 

Right. 

I'm pretty sure, though, that if I were to take a metaphorical Clorox sheet and wipe down my soul, it would be pretty revealing. I know I'm not alone in having this mindset, and it's not merely a cultural phenomenon, either. The Pharisees were notorious for this type of thinking.

John 8:1-11New International Version (NIV)

8 

1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.

2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

11 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Jesus sees all sin the same way. There really is no such thing as "big sin vs little sin." We're all unclean before the Lord and it's only through Jesus's death on the cross that we are liberated from the consequences. Guess what? The consequences for our so-called "little sins" are the same as those for people with "big sins." At the end of the day, we are all dirty tables, no matter how clean we look.

I'll spare you a picture of my towel-filled trash can, but here's a shot of my table after I cleaned it. It's almost annoying that it looks exactly the same after I've laboriously scrubbed it. Sometimes it makes me almost resent the cleaning process -- there's no visual change, so why bother breaking my back? (Okay, okay...wiping down the table isn't all that difficult...)

This is part of the danger with categorizing sins as "big" or "little." In Luke 7, a sinful woman is washing Jesus's feet with her tears and hair. Simon the Pharisee is questioning why Jesus would let such a filthy person touch him. Jesus responds:

41 “Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii,[c] and the other fifty. 42 Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?”

43 Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.”

“You have judged correctly,” Jesus said.

I guess if I dumped a bucket of mud on my kitchen table before cleaning it, I'd feel a bit more accomplished afterwards. Obviously I'd never do that - that would be really counterproductive. If loving Jesus is to be the foremost priority in my life, it's imperative that I recognize what he has done for me. Of course, I'm not going to go outside, shoot everyone on the street, rob a few banks and build myself a shrine so that Jesus can forgive me more (a la Romans 6:1) - especially because despite those being horrible things, they're no worse in God's eyes than the gossiping, judgmentalism and gluttony I'm guilty of.  

One of my goals lately has been to really work through these "little sins" in my life. Why? Because they're not so little, and because ignoring them can put a wall of self-righteousness between me and God and between me and people who don't know Jesus yet. It's part of humility - no matter how clean I look, I need Jesus just as much as the woman at the well (John 4). 

My challenge for you (and me) is this: Don't let unconfessed sin fester. Pray about it. Ask for forgiveness, ask for strength to overcome it, and ultimately remember that Christ already conquered it on the cross. There's power in that. If you feel stuck in a sin, remember that Jesus already won, and you don't have to be bound to that behavior anymore. #liberated

PS: Don't be a table

When There's Nothing Else to Do

There's a school of thought regarding prayer that prayer shouldn't be a last resort - it should be our go-to option for addressing any and every situation. Before, during and after we approach any course of action, we should be praying. 1 Thessalonians 5 in its discussion of the Christian life says, in verse 17, "Pray continually." I don't think Paul could have been more clear. 

Rather than using prayer as a last resort, we should use it as the basis upon we base everything we do. That is, prayer is a channel for action, allowing God to provide us His strength, allowing the holy spirit to guide us, and allowing for grace to abound where we will inevitably fall short. In many cases, prayer should be accompanied by action. Following suit with the "ACTS" or "CHAT" patterns for prayer:

• Prayers of Confession should be accompanied by a behavior change (true repentance)
• Prayers of Honoring/Adoration should be reflected in the way we lead our lives (in such a way that honors God)
• Prayers of Asking/Supplication should be accompanied by action when possible (prayer and freshly baked cookies for a friend going through a hard time)
• Prayers of Thanksgiving should be reflected by an overall attitude of gratitude (choosing to praise rather than complain in all circumstances)

"Be One" by Natalie Grant expands upon this principle by saying, "Why sit around and wait for a hero yet to come when you can be one?"

In principle, this makes a whole lot of sense. But in practice (aka real life) there are times when we simply can't be that hero, and the only thing we can do is pray. Sometimes this can make us feel helpless, fearful or lost, but in reality it can be (and really should be) a comfort. See, prayer is powerful, and crying out to God in times of need or concern is an acknowledgement that He is greater than our problems, stronger than our human weaknesses, and sovereign. Prayer seeks Him and His plan, no matter where we are in this life, no matter how helpless we feel. 

I got a little taste of that truth today. Driving to work this afternoon, I saw a girl walking along the side of the road. I assumed she was a high school student since the bus had just passed about 15 minutes prior, and I was traveling through a residential area pretty far from my university's campus. As I approached, I saw that she was crying. My stomach felt queasy - I hate seeing people upset. After a few minutes I turned around and pulled over. I called out to her and asked if she was okay. She said she was fine and kept walking. I pulled up closer. 

"Really, are you sure? You don't look okay. You were crying."

"I'm fine, really."

"But maybe I can help! Please? What's your name?" 

The girl just kept walking, her eyeliner smeared. She was definitely a teenager. I was scared for her, just walking along the side of a busy street like that. Anyone could pull over, and maybe they wouldn't all have the same intentions that I did. My heart was broken for her as I remembered the times in my own teenage years that the fear and pain of living in a broken family had caused me to wander the streets aimlessly, wanting to be anywhere but home. 

I sighed, shifted my car back to "drive" and went to work. She's been on my mind ever since, though. Looking back, I'm not sure what I would have done to help. There probably wasn't anything I could have done. We were strangers. We still are, except she has been on my heart all day, and I've been praying for her all afternoon. 

In my position, as the concerned drive-byer, the only thing I can do is pray. But that isn't a limiting factor per-say. Prayer is powerful. Prayer empowers me to submit my own concern to God's perfect plan for her life, and it adds my voice and action to the action of the Lord as He works out His will for my good, her good, and the good of every single person He created. 

See, even though I never learned her name, I can pray for that girl who was crying on the side of the road. I can pray for healing, for strength, and that she will come to know the Lord if she doesn't already. I can pray for safety that wherever she was going and whatever she was running from would be resolved. I can pray that God's will for her life would come to fruition. I can pray. And that actually means a lot.

Christians are criticized for "merely praying" during terrorist attacks, natural disasters, and other horrible events. What many don't realize, though, is that prayer is the single most important thing we can be doing for our brothers and sisters, the best among all "back-up plans," and the absolute most effective way to help in any and every situation. Next time you feel helpless when there's nothing else to do, remember that prayer is powerful and effective, and it's the best thing you can be doing.