Decisions, Decisions...

I'm at a stage in my life when I have to make a lot of important decisions --  really important ones -- like "my-future-and-well-being-depend-on-this" kind of decisions. Maybe you can relate? 

If I were to sum up my decision making process in one word, it would be "panic." It's not the prospect of choosing that scares me, but more the fact that I am suddenly bestowed this important responsibility, and if I make the wrong choice, it's all my fault. This is obviously a terrifying realization, and so I sit and stew about it; as the deadline approaches, I become increasingly on-edge. Occasionally I will petition the input of people I trust, or even try to weasel them into making the decision for me. (They never seem to comply with that one...darn.)

As I was reading the bible this morning, though, I was really convicted that my go-to of "panic" should instead be "prayer." 

Cognitively, I know this, but the notion has never made the journey from head to heart - as is evident by said panicking. I think part of this reason is because I've never taken the time to investigate what it means, exactly, to seek God's wisdom when making decisions. I finally did that this morning, and here's what I noticed:

We Have No Clue What We're Doing

"Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight." - Isaiah 5:21

Sometimes I am keenly aware of this truth, like when I sit down to analyze said important decisions and realize I have no idea where to start. It's with other things, though, when my head gets a little big and pride and arrogance lead me toward impulsiveness. Sometimes these "little actions" don't matter that much, and sometimes they do - but what's really important to note about all of it is the condition of my heart. Even if I feel incompetent when making the decision, I still strive to do so on my own accord, trusting in my own sense of "wisdom." Newsflash, humans: we are incompetent in every sense of the word. The only way that we can make good choices in this life is by consulting the Father of wisdom. 

As Matilda's father, Harry Wormwood, would [sort of] say: God's smart, we're dumb, He's big, we're little, He's right, we're wrong, and there's nothing we can do about it! 

God Will Direct Us

Isaiah 7

Way back in the old testament, two big-headed bible folk (King Rezin and Pekah) decided to round up their troops and head off to fight Jerusalem, where Ahaz was king. The Lord instructed Isaiah to go to Ahaz and tell him about what was happening and encourage him to stand firm in his faith. The Lord himself spoke to Ahaz and said, "Ask the Lord your God for a sign, whether in the deepest depths or in the highest heights." (Isaiah 7:10-11). In other words, God was inviting Ahaz to seek God's wisdom and direction audaciously, and to ask, even if it was a lofty request. But Ahaz refused - he didn't want to "put the Lord to the test." 

In this case, Ahaz had pure intentions. He thought he was doing the right thing by not 'bothering' God with his troubles, but that's not how God works. God wants to have that sort of communication with us. Sometimes, He has a really important agenda and we need to be open and humble before Him so we can receive what He has to say. Reading on in Isaiah 7, God gives Ahaz a sign anyway, despite his reluctance to ask for it. What he learned was beyond anything he could have imagined. 

 God Requires Humility

"A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a miraculous sign, but none will be given it except the sign of the profit Jonah!" - Matthew 12:39

In this verse in Matthew, the Pharisees asked Jesus for a ''sign." They weren't asking for direction in their decision making, but rather were mocking the authority of Jesus. They were asking for a miracle to prove His deity. Jesus rebuked them, saying that the only "sign" they would get was the undeniable proof that Jesus was the messiah when He would rise again, three days after crucifixion. They refused to humble themselves before the Lord, so the Lord would overtly humble them in time.

Yes, the Pharisees would eventually get the "sign" they asked for, but they would also get what they really wanted, which was distance from God and His truth. They would be denied the communion and intimate relationship with Christ that came with being His followers. The Pharisees were wise in their own eyes and didn't really care what God had to say to them. As a result, they continued to live in ignorance of God's love and grace. 

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." - Matthew 5:8

God Rewards Humility

"At that time, the disciples came to Jesus and asked, 'Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: 'Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like the little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'" - Matthew 18:1-4

God exalts those who humble themselves. But God also guides those who have the humility to come before him, ask, seek, and knock (Matthew 7:7). Children are used here as an illustration of humility, because children are often aware of their own insufficiency! This is completely opposite of our culture's attitude of self-sufficiency. God wants us to come to Him, on our knees, when we need to make decisions - whether they are big or small! Children so often view their parents as all-knowing and all-powerful. Mommy and Daddy can fix boo-boos, give comforting hugs and know the answers to everything. As adults, it's so difficult for us to view God this way, but it's the only way for us to hear from the Lord and receive His wisdom!

God wants to be in communication with us, and honestly, we need to be in communication with Him. We won't get anywhere on our own, and will probably wind up making some poor choices if we are trying to rely on our own "wisdom." Imagine the level of commitment required of a person who kneels before God in prayer and stays there until he hears an answer! God, give me the faith and courage to ask for your wisdom.